i got this from a muslim community which i joined because i've always admired them for their convictions about modesty. i think this article has fantastic arguments which we as apostolics can also relate to regarding modest clothing.


"I'm so tired"

"Tired of what?"

"Of all these people judging me."

"Who judged you?"

"Like that woman, every time I sit with her, she tells me to wear hijab."

"Oh, hijab and music! The mother of all topics!"

"Yeah! I listen to music without hijab. haha!"

"Maybe she was just giving you advice."

"I don't need her advice. I know my religion. Can't she mind her own business?"

"Maybe you misunderstood. She was just being nice."

"Keeping out of my business, that would be nice..."

"But it's her duty to encourage you do to good."

"Trust me. That was no encouragement. And what do you mean 'good'?"

"Well, wearing hijab, that would be a good thing to do."

"Says who?"

"It's in the Qur'an, isn't it?"

"Yes. She did quote me something."

"She said Surah an-Nur, and other places of the Qur'an."

"Yes, but it's not a big sin anyway. Helping people and praying is more important."

"True. But big things start with small things."

"That's a good point, but what you wear is not important. What's important is to have a good healthy heart."

"What you wear is not important?"

"That's what I said."

"Then why do you spend an hour every morning fixing up?"

"What do you mean?"

"You spend money on cosmetics, not to mention all the time you spend on fixing your hair and low- carb dieting."

"So?"

"So, your appearance IS important."

"No. I said wearing hijab is not an important thing in religion."

"If it's not an important thing in religion, why is it mentioned in the Holy Qur'an?"

"You know I can't follow all that's in Qur'an."

"You mean God tells you something to do, you disobey and then it's OK?"

"Yes. God is forgiving."

"God is forgiving to those who repent and do not repeat their mistakes."

"Says who?"

"Says the same book that tells you to cover."

"But I don't like hijab, it limits my freedom."

"But the lotions, lipsticks, mascara and other cosmetics set you free?! What's your definition of freedom anyway?"

"Freedom is in doing whatever you like to do."

"No. Freedom is in doing the right thing, not in doing whatever we wish to do."

"Look! I've seen so many people who don't wear hijab and are nice people, and so many who wear hijab and are bad people."

"So what? There are people who are nice to you but are alcoholic. Should we all be alcoholics? You made a stupid point."

"I don't want to be an extremist or a fanatic. I'm OK the way I am without hijab."

"Then you are a secular fanatic. An extremist in disobeying God."

"You don't get it, if I wear hijab, who would marry me?!"

"So all these people with hijab never get married?!"

"Okay! What if I get married and my husband doesn't like it? And wants me to remove it?"

"What if your husband wants you to go out with him on a bank robbery?!"

"That's irrelevant, bank robbery is a crime."

"Disobeying your Creator is not a crime?"

"But then who would hire me?"

"A company that respects people for who they are."

"Not after 9-11"

"Yes. After 9-11. Don't you know about Hanan who just got into med school? And the other one, what was her name, the girl who always wore a white hijab. Uummm..."

"Yasmeen?"

"Yes. Yasmeen. She just finished her MBA and is now interning for GE."

"Why do you reduce religion to a piece of cloth anyway?"

"Why do you reduce womanhood to high heels and lipstick colours?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"In fact, I did. Hijab is not just a piece of cloth. It is obeying God in a difficult environment. It is courage, faith in action, and true womanhood. But your short sleeves, tight pants.."

"That's called 'fashion', you live in a cave or something? First of all, hijab was founded by men who wanted to control women."

"Really? I did not know men could control women by hijab."

"Yes. That's what it is."

"What about the women who fight their husbands to wear hijab? And women in France who are forced to remove their hijab by men? What do you say about that?"

"Well, that's different."

"What difference? The woman who asked you to wear hijab. she was a woman, right?"

"Right, but."

"But fashions that are designed and promoted by male-dominated corporations, set you free? Men have no control on exposing women and using them as a commodity?! Give me a break!"

"Wait, let me finish, I was saying."

"Saying what? You think that men control women by hijab?"

"Yes."

"Specifically how?"

"By telling women how and what to wear, dummy!"

"Doesn't TV, magazines and movies tell you what to wear, and how to be 'attractive' ?"

"Of course, it's fashion."

"Isn't that control? Pressuring you to wear what they want you to wear?"

Silence

"Not just controlling you, but also controlling the market."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you are told to look skinny and anorexic like that woman on the cover of the magazine, by men who design those magazines and sell those products."

"I don't get it. What does hijab have to do with products."

"It has everything to do with that. Don't you see? Hijab is a threat to consumerism, women who spend billions of dollars to look skinny and live by standards of fashion designed by men.and then here is Islam, saying trash all that nonsense and focus on your soul, not on your looks, and do not worry what men think of your looks."

"Like I don't have to buy hijab? Isn't hijab a product?"

"Yes, it is. It is a product that sets you free from male-dominated consumer ism ."

"Stop lecturing me! I WILL NOT WEAR HIJAB! It is awkward, outdated, and totally not suitable for this society ... Moreover, I am only 20 and too young to wear hijab!"

"Fine. Say that to your Lord, when you face Him on Judgment Day."

"Fine."

"Fine."

Silence

"Shut up and I don't want to hear more about hijab niqab schmijab punjab!"

Silence.

She stared at the mirror, tired of arguing with herself all this time.

Successful enough, she managed to shut the voices in her head, with her own opinions triumphant in victory on the matter, and a final modern decision accepted by the society, rejected by the Faith:

Yes to curls or blowed dried hair, no to hijab.

Why Leaders Fail
by Mark Sanborn

Huge publicly-traded companies Enron and Worldcom go down in flames under the guidance of capable leaders with highly questionable ethics. Gold medalist Marion Jones, once considered a positive role model, faces criminal charges for doping. The Catholic Church continues to agonize over lapses in leadership that resulted in sexual abuse of children. From the indictment of Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens to the imprisonment of Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick to the adulterous affair of former Vice Presidential candidate John Edwards, politics is rife with leadership failures.

In the recent past, we've witnessed the public downfall of leaders from almost every arena of society — business, sports, religion and politics. One day they're on top of the heap, the next, shame and infamy are heaped on them.

We are incensed by the catastrophic failures of these leaders. After all, we cheered for them, voted for them, put stock in their companies, and consulted them for spiritual guidance. We trusted them, they let us down, and it hurts.

While our outrage at disgraced leaders may be justified, we fail to realize how quickly "they" become "us." The distance between beloved leader and despised failure is shorter than we think. Like anyone, these fallen leaders never set out to sacrifice their integrity, abandon ethical behavior, or exploit those they led. But it happened anyway. Their failures should be our cautions.

Ken Maupin, a practicing psychotherapist and colleague, has built his practice on working with high-performance personalities, including leaders in business, religion, and sports. Ken and I have often discussed why leaders fail. Our discussions have led to the following "warning signs" of impending failure.

Warning Sign #1: A Shift in Focus

This shift can occur several ways. Oftentimes, leaders simply lose sight of what's important. The laser-like focus that catapulted them to the top begins to wander, and they are seduced by the trappings of leadership, such as wealth and notoriety.

Leaders are usually distinguished by their ability to "think big." But as their focus shifts, their thinking shrinks. They micromanage, get caught up in minutiae, and consume themselves with trivial decisions better left to others. To make matters worse, this tendency can be exacerbated by an unceasing quest for perfection.

A more subtle leadership derailer is an obsession with "doing" rather than "becoming." A leader's greatest influence flows naturally from inner vision and character. It is possible for a leader to become infatuated with action, and, in the process, lose touch with the all-important development of self. However, busier isn't always better.

At the present moment, what is your primary focus? If you can't write it on the back of your business card, then your leadership suffers from a lack of clarity. Take the requisite time to center your focus on what's most important.

Would you describe your thinking as expansive or contractive? You should be willing to roll up your sleeves to do whatever it takes to get the job done. However, don't take the reins from others on tasks they can do as competently as you can. Always strive to think on a higher plane. In doing so, you'll make the transition from doer to developer.

Warning Sign #2: Poor Communication

Lack of focus disorients a leader and sets the stage for poor communication. Followers can't possibly understand a leader's intent when the leader isn't even sure what it is! When leaders are unclear about purpose, they cloak their confusion with uncertainty and ambiguous communication.

Sometimes, leaders fall into the clairvoyance trap. They delude themselves into believing that committed followers can sense their goals and carry out their wishes without being told. When misunderstandings arise, managers blame their people for lack of effort (or commitment) rather than recognizing their own communication negligence.

"Say what you mean, and mean what you say" is timeless advice, but it must be preceded by knowing what you mean! Clarity of purpose is the starting point for all effective communication. The hard work of communication only pays dividends when you're crystal clear about your message.

Warning Sign #3: Risk Aversion

Leaders on the verge of breakdown fear failure rather than desiring success. Past victories create pressure for leaders: "Will I be able to sustain outstanding performance?" "What will I do for an encore?" In fact, the longer a leader is successful, the higher his or her perceived cost of failure will be.

When driven by the fear of failure, leaders are unable to take reasonable risks. They limit themselves to tried and proven pathways. Attempts at innovation — key to their initial success — diminish and eventually disappear.

Which is more important to you: the journey or the destination? Are you still taking reasonable risks? Prudent leadership avoids reckless risk, but neither is it paralyzed by fear. On many occasions, the dance of leadership is two steps forward, one step back.

Warning Sign #4: Ethics Slip

A leader's credibility depends upon two qualities: what he or she does (competency) and who he or she is (character). Deficiencies in either quality create an integrity problem.

The highest principle of leadership is integrity. When ethical compromise is rationalized as necessary for the "greater good," a leader sets foot on the slippery slope of failure.

All too often, leaders see their followers as pawns — mere means to an end. As a result, they confuse manipulation with leadership. Such leaders rapidly lose respect. To save face, they cease to be people "perceivers" and become people "pleasers," using popularity to ease the guilt of lapsed integrity.

As a leader, it's imperative to constantly subject your life and work to the highest scrutiny. Are there areas of conflict between what you believe and how you behave? Has compromise crept into your operational tool kit?

Warning Sign #5: Poor Self-Management

Tragically, if a leader doesn't take care of himself or herself, no one else will. Unless a leader is blessed with unusually perceptive followers, nobody will pick up on signs of fatigue and stress. Leaders are counted on to produce, but they aren't superheroes running on limitless energy.

While leadership is invigorating, it is also tiring.. Like anyone else, leaders are susceptible to feeling drained, depressed, and de-motivated. Those who neglect their physical, psychological, emotional, or spiritual needs are headed for disaster. Think of having a gauge for each of these four areas of your life, and check them often! If a gauge's needle dips toward "empty," make time for refreshment and replenishment. Clear your schedule and take care of yourself. Self-preservation isn't selfish - it's vital to the health of those you lead.

Warning Sign #6: Lost Love

Leaders face impending disaster when they abandon their first love. The hard work of leadership should be fulfilling and fun. However, when divorced from their dreams, leaders may find the responsibility of leadership to be frustrating and fruitless. To stay motivated, leaders must stick to what they love and rediscover what compelled them to accept the mantle of leadership in the first place.

To make sure that you stay on the track of following your first love, frequently ask yourself these three questions: Why did I initially pursue leadership? Have those reasons changed? Do I still want to lead?

Heed the Signs

The warning signs in life — from stoplights to prescription labels — are intended for our good. They protect us from disaster, and we would be foolish to ignore them. As you consider the six warning signs of leadership failure, don't be afraid to take an honest look at yourself. If any of the warnings ring true, take action today! By paying attention to these signs and heeding their warnings, you can avoid disaster and sustain the kind of leadership that is healthy and fulfilling both for yourself and your followers.

 

Love requires you to exercise your authority to protect.

There's a time to show mercy and a time to fight back.

Some struggles we go through is not the lack of power that's the issue. It's the lack of exercising authority.

Being a Christian is not about having no back bone.

Every time you complain, you got to recognize that's the flesh talking.

The battle is getting yourself down to the altar.

Faith will require you to sacrifice.

Are you faking it? No, I'm faithing it.

God's people have always been identified with the one-God message.

We in the church are heirs of Abraham by faith, and this exalted position demands that we have the same monotheistic faith in the God of Abraham.

i walked in late for morning prayer today only to hear pastor tim talk about slothfulness and timeliness. talk about right timing man...

he went on to talk about how as a body and as individuals we need to be disciplined. and i totally agree (not that i'm the best example of it, work in progress!). looking at the times that we are living in, it is a travesty to waste the time, money and talents that God has given us on frivolous things.

but of course, we need discipline to not do that. flesh seems to be wired to do really ridiculous things. like how i watched a video made by croc-haters. that people would even take time to make a video about how much they hate plastic shoes is one thing. and then there are people who actually watch those videos (i.e. me). go figure.

and then he went on to say that the shortest pencil has the longest memory. oh bloggie! that's you! i'm happy that we're in line with what is on pastor's heart.

he also talked about being disciplined in studying the Word. we may curse the singaporean education system, but it has trained us to be die-hard muggers who will keep studying amidst war (iraq war) and pestilence (sars) *cough* my O levels in 2004 *cough*. so we are a bunch of people who will study no matter what we feel or what happens around us. well God knew what he was doing when he put us here didn't he?

God never blesses without giving instruction on what to do with your blessing.

Apostolic power flows through apostolic submission.

The problem is not too many rules. Adam only had one and he couldn't keep it.

The angel opened the door of the prison for Peter, but when it came to the door of the church, the church had to open it themselves. There are some things that the church has to open on their own.

God's not going to send you anything you won't believe.